Mass Effect: Residuum
by raybiker73
Summary: The Reapers are destroyed, the Normandy is lost, and the combined fleet is reeling in the aftermath of the battle above Earth. The Normandy is stranded on an uncharted world, but reuniting Shepard's team will be easy compared to the real task - reuniting the galaxy.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

How long had it been? It was completely dark, and with the loss of spatial perspective came a loss of perspective on everything else, including time.

Well, _almost_ everything else.

 _So this is it, then? No complaints. If this is really the end of the road this time, I can at least hit that road knowing that you bastards will be traveling it with me._

At least there was that - the Reapers were well and truly dead. Shepard had seen to that. Parts of it were fuzzy, dancing through his brain just out of reach at the soft edge between dream and conscious thought - a child, the child from Earth that had plagued his nightmares; visions of Anderson and the Illusive Man; a swirling mix of greens and blues and reds and poor choices and false hopes - but he had been clear enough to see through the deception. It wasn't lost on him that 2 of the 3 "choices" he'd been given would have allowed the Reapers to live, and he hadn't gotten this far in his life (either time) by being a fool. The Reapers had been set back on their heels, then brought to their knees, and in the end were begging for their lives.

 _Ha, all the way back to Eden Prime, I guess I was the vanguard of THEIR destruction. If I have to die for that, and die permanently this time, it_ _'_ _s a life well spent._

And the blackness surrounding Shepard grew somehow blacker.

When Shepard opened his eyes again, the crushing blackness had given way to a mix of blacks and blues and ochres, the bloodied Earth before him like a surrealist painting with blue seas and blackened clouds and the burning cities like a thousand campfires in the night.

 _Is this how war looked thousands of years ago? Did Alexander look out and see the campfires of his enemies and wonder what was to come? Well, I guess it doesn_ _'_ _t matter now. Alexander_ _'_ _s dead, and so am I. Maybe I can ask him._

The thought brought a chuckle to Shepard's lips, along with a searing pain as his smile crackled through burnt skin and torn flesh.

 _OK, either the afterlife is a bit more uncomfortable than I counted on, or I_ _'_ _m NOT dead. Not yet, at least._

Shepard couldn't move - not much, anyway - but he shifted himself to get a better view of the Earth before him.

 _Well, I_ _'_ _m still on the Citadel, and there_ _'_ _s still atmosphere, and I_ _'_ _m breathing, so I_ _'_ _ve got that going for me, which is nice. Earth is still there - that_ _'_ _s another win. And a bunch of dead Reapers. Gotta love that. And..._

No ships. None that weren't destroyed, anyway. The aft section of a Turian dreadnought floated silently by, tumbling across the background of the Atlantic and over Europe towards Russia. The remains of an Alliance cruiser traced a similar but perpendicular path, following a rough north-south line over North America, over Hudson Bay and the Great Lakes and the streets of Pittsburgh where Shepard had grown up hard. Millions of pieces of thousands of ships moving through the vacuum of space in a ballet of destruction. A geth fighter with its alien bug-like profile bounced haphazardly through larger pieces of the debris field, and Shepard's heart sank a bit.

 _The geth. EDI. All gone. I know there was no other way. I know they knew the risks going in, all of them, but I pulled the trigger. I did it, I and I alone. I_ _'_ _m sorry. I_ _'_ _m so, so sorry. You deserved better, and I_ _'_ _m sorry I couldn_ _'_ _t do better by you._

And still, not a single ship moving under its own power. Maybe it wasn't just EDI and the geth. Maybe it was everybody. Maybe they were all gone - Reapers, synthetics, humans, turians and everyone. Maybe in killing the Reapers, he'd killed them all. He felt unconsciousness tugging at him again and fell into it both sadly and gladly.

 _How the hell long HAS it been?_

It was longer this time, of that he was certain. He was definitely out longer this time, because although his vision was now blurry, his mind was more clear. The blacks and blues and twisted debris had given way to white, a soft white that surrounded him. No sound, no stimulus, only a cloudlike whiteness enveloping him.

 _OK, scratch that. Maybe I_ _'_ _m dead after all._

Gradually, his senses returned and he heard a soft hum, saw movement in the clouds, got a faint scent of something minty. He tried to sit up but couldn't, when an object appeared before his face - another face, still blurred into the clouds but definitely a face. He blinked a few times, and it gradually came into focus.

It was the face of Miranda Lawson, looking down at him with a frown on her lips but with a smile in her eyes.

"Shepard, we've really got to stop meeting like this."


	2. Dig

**Dig**

Steven Hackett felt old.

 _Hell, who am I kidding? I AM old. I just never felt it, really felt it, until now. And now is when I really can't afford to feel it..._

It had been just over 33 hours since the Crucible fired and did...whatever it did. Hackett still wasn't sure himself. All he knew is that there was a burst of red light, a wave of energy that blew out across the system and damaged all the relays (or at least all with people who had checked in from the other side of them) and just like that, the Reapers and their minions were gone.

And so was Shepard, and so was the Normandy.

Despite the fact that he not only liked and respected Shepard but also believed that he would be a vital piece of any effort to unite a post-Reaper galaxy, it was that last part, the Normandy gone missing, that really stuck in his craw. It was his fault, after all, but he hadn't had much choice. As the de facto leader of what remained of the Systems Alliance, at least until some politicians started crawling out from whatever rocks and skirts they had hidden under during the fighting, he had to be thinking ahead. As a young officer, he had been present during a speech by Rear Admiral Grissom, who had said, "Don't aim where the enemy is. Aim where he's going to be."

Hackett had taken those words to heart, not just in war but in peace as well, always trying to think at least two steps down the road. He knew damned well that the galaxy would need a symbol, an icon to latch onto after the fighting, and the two biggest icons in the entire Milky Way were Commander Shepard and the Normandy. Shepard's run to the Citadel was a suicide mission to end all suicide missions. It made his run on the Collector base look like a run to the grocery store. Hackett knew that if anyone could survive it, Shepard could, but even so the chances were laughably slim. With the outcome uncertain and no time to think, he knew he couldn't risk both icons falling in battle. He couldn't protect Shepard, not from the moment his boots hit the ground in London, but he could protect the Normandy. Or, so he had thought.

* * *

"Jeff, we are receiving a hail from Admiral Hackett's flagship. It is the Admiral himself," EDI stated from her station at Joker's right hand in the cockpit. Well, her "physical" station, at least. Really, she was everywhere in the ship, all the time, but the crew seemed more at ease with a body that they could not only anthropomorphize but also visually locate. Not to mention the fact that Jeff liked it, and that alone was reason enough for EDI. "It is coded Urgent."

"Tell him we're busy, EDI." Joker's hands slid expertly over the ship's virtual control interfaces. Onboard sensors and collision-detecting thrusters, not to mention EDI, could help guide the ship on a high-speed trajectory through a hazardous and constantly-changing battlefield like the one currently surrounding the planet, but all those systems needed a skilled pilot to bring them together, and Joker was the man for the job. Every helmet cam, gun cam and drone on the planet had watched Shepard emerge from the carnage on the ground and stagger into the beam. He made it, which meant he was on the Citadel, high above the Earth, so that's where the Normandy was going to be as well. Joker hadn't even waited for orders. As soon as he heard confirmation that Garrus and Liara were back on board, he tore off for the Citadel and whatever awaited them there.

"Jeff, the Admiral is continuing to hail us," EDI said, a slight tone of questioning in her voice.

"Fine, patch him through."

"Moreau, this is Hackett." Joker couldn't tell if the scratch in the transmission was from static or from the admiral's rough tone. "What's your status?"

"Making best speed for the Citadel, sir." In his peripheral vision, Joker saw Garrus walk up to stand beside the pilot's chair, small wisps of smoke still rising from the score marks on his charred armor. "ETA four minutes. We'll be ready for whatever happens."

"Negative." Hackett's voice was stronger and clearer now, and Joker still didn't know if it was because of the man or the machine. "I need you to head to the relay immediately and await further orders."

"The _relay?_ " Joker was incredulous. "Are you fucking _nuts_...uhh, sir?"

"Moreau, if you want even the slightest chance of saving Shepard, the relay is where you need to be. Is Vakarian there?"

"Here, sir," Garrus said. "If I may ask, though, why the relay?"

"The Citadel is locked up tight," Hackett responded. "A fleet of dreadnoughts with Thanix cannons couldn't punch a hole in that tin can, and Shepard is inside. We have no idea what the hell is going to happen when the Crucible fires. If things go sideways for him before he can get the arms open, he's going to try to get out. With the Citadel arms closed and the beam shut down, there's only one exit."

"Of course," Garrus said, immediately knowing what the admiral meant. "The Citadel is a relay, and the only way out when it's closed is to jump somewhere else. But wait - the Citadel itself is the relay. How would it jump through itself."

"It wouldn't," Hackett said. "We have reason to believe that the Reaper forces aboard the Citadel have repurposed the Prothean Conduit to be used in much the same manner as a normal relay, allowing travel in both directions. The beam is used to move troops and material to and from Earth, but Earth isn't the only planet they're drawing from. The only way to get things onto the Citadel from outside the system is through that relay. What readings we've been able to get from the Citadel since the fleet arrived indicate that it is being used on a regular basis. If Shepard tries to get out, either in pursuit or escape, he'll almost certainly grab a skycar or shuttle and make for that relay. And when he comes out on the other side, wherever that may be, I need you to be there before the Reapers are. From what we've gathered, the Conduit relay has been aimed in only one direction, to the Horse Head Nebula relay."

"Makes sense," Garrus replied with a hint of exasperation. "That's where their Cerberus lackeys were set up, and who knows what Saren might have left behind on Noveria that they've dug up to use on us."

"Exactly." Hackett continued, "Take up station at the relay and as soon as the Conduit relay activates, we can tell you where it's going. Get there and get Shepard. Vakarian, you're in charge. Hackett out."

That last part hit Garrus like a punch to the head.

 _I'm in charge? A turian, and a not-so-good turian at that, in charge of the most important Alliance vessel in the galaxy? Why not Ash or Vega or Cortez, or even Joker? Why would he..._

Garrus nipped that train of thought in the bud. No time to think about it now. They had to get to the relay and be ready. Shepard needed them. And, even though it was only a quick run across one system, Garrus would do his very best to take care of the ship until Shepard was back behind the galaxy map where he belonged.

He went over every detail, checked in with every crew station, before reluctantly heading once again for the cockpit. _Maybe if I wait just one more minute, Shepard will contact us._ But, he knew in his heart that it wasn't going to happen. He slowly approached Joker and said the words that neither of them wanted to hear.

"Joker, listen. We have to go."

" Damn it." Joker let out a sigh and with a swipe of his hand sent the ship hurtling toward the relay.

Back aboard his flagship, Hackett let out a heavy sigh. Everything he had just told them was true, but he knew damned well that any ship could post at the relay and jump through if needed, and he also knew that good people would die because he had sent the Normandy and her crew, the best anti-Reaper weapon in the entire Milky Way, away from the battle. It had to be done, though. They had to be preserved, because if the combined forces of the galaxy managed to win this war, the Normandy, with or without Shepard, would be needed even more during the peace to follow.

* * *

"Sir?"

"Wha...?" Hackett blinked himself back to the present. _Stay on task, dammit. Work now, daydream later._ Hackett regarded the junior officer who had jolted him from his thoughts. A young man, covered in dirt and ash and looking far wearier than a young man should look. _I guess we all feel old today._ "Yes, Lieutenant, what is it?"

"We've completed our sweep of this sector, sir. No trace. Major Liriano told me to inform you that we're proceeding to the next search grid." The lieutenant looked a bit nervous, like a hiker who had just awakened a hibernating bear. "The Scan and Rescue teams have already moved forward, and we'll begin moving in equipment when they give us the all clear, sir."

"Very good," Hackett replied. He could see the tension in the young officer's face. "What's your name, son?"

"Cole," the lieutenant answered. "Lieutenant Cole, Company B, 119th Armored Engineering Battalion, Fifth Fleet, sir."

"When's the last time you got any rest, Cole?"

"Well sir, I..." Cole stopped and took a breath. "I don't know, sir."

"Lieutenant, have an additional series of work crews on deck to take over for a while. You and your men are doing good work here, Cole. Damn good work. I don't want to see you burn out. We're going to need men like you and your teams more than ever now." Hackett saw the young man straighten slightly, a bit of recognition from the fleet commander himself adding some steel to the young man's spine.

"Yes sir, and thank you. We'll find him, sir. I know we will."

"Well, keep at it, Cole. Dismissed."

* * *

"Somebody tell me what the hell is going on right now!" It had been nearly an hour since Shepard had entered the beam to the Citadel, and nothing had happened. To Hackett, it felt like it had been a month. "I want every scanner we have aimed at the Citadel and searching every frequency. If a husk so much as farts in there, I want to know about it." Yelling didn't do any good, Hackett knew that, but this was infuriating. They'd come too far and worked too hard and risked too much to have it end with...nothing?

 _Did Shepard fire the Crucible and it didn't work? Is he there but can't figure it out? Is it meant to be fired by more than one person? Did Anderson make it in with him? Has Shepard found the main controls? Is he still alive?_ Not only was nothing happening, but he couldn't even figure out what _kind_ of nothing was happening, and it was ripping him to shreds.

"We're not picking up anything other than background chatter, sir," answered a tech at one of the scanner stations. Hackett turned to face her and the frown on his face made her voice crack just a bit. "We...we've expanded the search from Alliance comm channels to include...Oh my God." The tech stared toward the forward view screen and her eyes grew wide. "Admiral! Look!"

Hackett spun back around to face forward, just in time to see the Citadel begin to unfold. He punched the comm button on his armrest that allowed him to address the fleet. "This is it, everyone. The arms are opening. Shield group, move the Crucible into place."

Despite the tension of the moment, Hackett couldn't help but be impressed by the grace of the whole operation. The Citadel slowly opened its arms, like a flower coming into bloom, and the fleet like a swarm of bees headed directly for its center. The Crucible began to shed its protective transport casing, reminding Hackett of the old vids he'd seen of multi-stage rockets, back when humanity first broke the bonds of Earth. The Presidium tower came into view and the Crucible continued its journey, straight for it, unfolding its own arms in a sort of mirror dance of the opening of the Citadel.

"Ten seconds to contact." Hackett watched nervously from his seat on the bridge, leaning forward as though he could push the Crucible the last few meters just by the power of his own stubbornness. He watched as the Crucible locked into place at the top of the Presidium Tower, while at the same time, in the corner of the viewscreen, he saw the Normandy blink out of existence as it entered FTL. _Godspeed, my friends. And I'm sorry._

And still...nothing. Hackett stared at the chrono panel like a kid waiting for the end of the school day. Five minutes, ten. Fifteen. The Citadel was open, so Shepard was still alive. The Crucible was docked, so everything was in place. Why wasn't anything happ...

And then the universe turned red.

"All Fleets! The Crucible is armed. Disengage and head to the rendezvous point. I repeat, disengage and get the hell out of here!"

As the fleet jumped to FTL for the short hop to the safety of Jupiter's orbit, Hackett's eyes were fixed to the rear viewscreen. He saw the Citadel light up like a Christmas tree, then a burst of light and a terrible red cloud began to balloon out from the center of the Presidium ring, snuffing out every Reaper in its path. Then, the ship jumped and he was left, like everyone else, wondering just what was going to happen.

Aboard the Normandy, en route to the relay, tensions were running high. Joker kept his mouth shut and flew the ship, an odd enough occurrence in itself, but it was a silence that spoke volumes. Garrus paced back and forth behind the pilot's seat, and the entire crew was on edge. Most of Shepard's team had made their way up to the gangway between the CIC and the cockpit, like visitors outside an operating room, waiting for news from within.

"What's happening back there, EDI. I know you've got the scanners running at maximum. What do you see?" Garrus asked the question, and the team moved closer to the cockpit in hopes of hearing good news.

"Nothing as yet," EDI replied. "There appears to be no...wait. I am detecting an anomaly, centered at the Citadel and expanding rapidly. It appears to have generated an energy beam of unknown composition."

"Is it heading for the Reapers?" Garrus asked.

"No," said EDI. "It is heading for us."

"Tali!" Garrus barked. "Get down to Engineering, Adams is going to need you. Ash, head for Gunnery, we don't know what's coming, but we need to be ready for anything. James, Javik, you're Damage Control. Grab whatever crewmen you need and prepare for emergency repairs or boarders. They may send a ship to try to capture us if this beam can cripple the Normandy without destroying us. Liara, I need you to prep the lifepods and be ready to evacuate the crew if this all goes to hell."

 _By the Goddess,_ Liara thought. _It's happening again._ This was the worst kind of deja vu - the Normandy under attack, everyone scrambling to get their jobs done, except this time it was Garrus ordering her to organize an evacuation rather than Shepard. _No, this can't be happening again. I can't do this again._

"Liara," Garrus said firmly, and looked her in the eye. "Go. Now."

Liara's blood ran cold. _Those had been Shepard's exact words. S_ he thought she might faint, but she pulled herself together. _I can't let the crew down, not last time and not this time._ "Yes," she stammered, "yes, right away" and she ran off for the Crew Deck.

Garrus looked to the aft viewscreen, and saw a roiling, churning mass of - something? - bearing down on the ship, a fine beam like a fiery laser shooting out of the cloud and catching up to them. He swallowed, and his mandibles twitched once, slowly. Hell itself was in their rear-view mirror, and gaining.

"Fifteen seconds to the relay!" Joker yelled. "I don't think we're gonna make it."

"We'll make it," Garrus shot back. "Punch it!"

"EDI, route power to the rear shields and..." Joker turned to EDI and saw her not operating the console in front of her, but looking at him. _Staring_ at him. "EDI, what's wrong?"

"Jeff," she replied softly. "I want..."

And then she closed her eyes, and the sky went red, then black.

Shielded in the darkness behind Europa, Hackett looked out at the fleet, then back towards Earth. Whatever was happening, it was headed their way, and there was no outrunning it. The massive red cloud had expanded out as far as Earth's moon, then gave way to what could only be described as a flaming lance, an enormous red beam shooting straight out of the Citadel and headed for the edge of the system. "Is that beam headed our way?"

"Negative, sir," answered the crewman operating the sensor array. "It appears to be headed for the relay."

 _The relay? Oh God, the Normandy!_ "Get me a visual on the relay, now!"

"Sir," replied the crewman anxiously, "to get a direct visual on the relay we'll have to move out from behind Europa and.."

"I don't care," fired Hackett. "Do it. Now!" The ship turned on its axis and headed back for open space.

"Visual contact with the relay established, sir. Sending it to the main screen."

The relay was visible in the center of the screen, a black and blue beacon surrounded by stars. "Maximum magnification, lieutenant. I need to see what's going on." The screen resolved until the relay nearly filled it.

"Beam passing us now, sir," said the weapons officer as she looked up from her console. "Estimated to reach the relay in fifteen seconds."

Hackett looked back to the screen and saw the relay's gyroscopic core begin to rotate, faster and faster. A small speck of light was moving towards it, but still quite a distance away. The Normandy. _Go, dammit. Go!_

From his vantage point, the beam and the Normandy appeared to hit the relay simultaneously, before a great burst of red light emanated from it's core and scattered the gyros and bits of the relay off into space and snuffed the relay out entirely. No lights, no gyro, nothing.

 _Did they make it? Did they hit the relay before the beam did? Please, let them have made it to..._

* * *

"Admiral Hackett! Admiral Hackett, sir!" Hackett was once again roused from his thoughts. He turned to see Lieutenant Cole moving towards him through the wreckage. No, not just moving - sprinting. Hackett came to his feet, and even from twenty feet away could interpret the look on Cole's grimy face.

"Admiral Hackett! We found him, sir. He's alive."


	3. Restore

Restore

Garrus Vakarian felt overwhelmed.

 _So much for 'a quick run across the system to the relay.' Well, unless by 'quick run' I meant two weeks and by 'across the system to the relay' I meant to some swampy jungle in the middle of Spirits-knows where…_

Garrus pinched his eyes closed for a second to refocus. _Bitching about it isn't going to help._ He took a look around at the vast sea of wires and pipes and conduits that used to be the Engineering deck and sighed softly to himself. Tali and Adams knew what they were doing, he knew that, but he found himself wondering if they'd decided that the best way to fix the ship would be to completely disassemble it and build a new one. He saw a pair of bifurcated feet sticking out from one of the access panels, and since they weren't his own, that narrowed down the possibilities.

"How's it going, Tali?" He crouched down beside the feet and peered into the panel opening to talk to the person to whom the feet were connected. "Gonna have the old girl ready to hit space by lunchtime, I assume?

"We probably would if we didn't have to stop working to answer questions from an impatient turian every 10 minutes," came an echoed voice from inside the access duct. Garrus had often thought that Tali's voice from within her helmet made it sound as though she were inside a tin can. Combined with the metallic echo from within the access duct, it gave it an almost turian-like flanged sound. Garrus suppressed a chuckle as Tali slid out onto the deck and stood up. "It's time for a break anyway. Let's go to the mess and...what's so funny?" She looked at him pointedly, and even behind her mask he could see the silvery orbs of her eyes narrow in suspicion.

"Oh, nothing," he fibbed. "Just our entire situation." Garrus began walking out of engineering and towards the elevator, and Tali fell into step beside him. "Half the time, I don't know whether to punch a bulkhead or just laugh. Since Dr. Chakwas is busy enough as it is, I figured laughing would be the better option." They entered the elevator and he punched the button for the crew deck, then let out a long breath as he leaned against the wall. "Plus, having my entire world being about four degrees off kilter is messing with my head." When the Normandy touched down on this planet, it was not exactly a smooth landing, and the ship came to rest somewhat off level. "Every time I go outside I feel like I'm going to fall over." The elevator doors opened and the two stepped out.

" _Keelah_ , Garrus," Tali snorted as they entered the mess area. It's more like _point_ four degrees. Most people don't even notice it. You're just being - what was it that Kelly used to say you were - _osee-dee?_ Yes, you're just being osee-dee about it."

"I can't help it if I'm admirably level-headed, Tali," Garrus replied with just a hint of sarcasm.

This brought another snort from Tali. "Oh yes, clearly that is it." She went to the cooler cabinet where the dextro rations were stored and pulled out two ration packs, one for Garrus and a sterilized version for herself. She handed him the meal and sat down across the table from him. "Hey, speaking of Dr. Chakwas, have you talked to her at all?" Tali glanced back over her shoulder to the Med Bay windows. "I just wondered how Cervelli is doing."

Garrus finished his bite and took a pull from his energy drink before answering. "She says he'll be fine. He's still unconscious, but it's a medically-induced coma. The burns were pretty severe. From what she says, though, he's about as lucky as can be - the initial electrical shock would have knocked him out before he felt a thing, and she's going to keep him under until the bones are knitted and the skin regen is completed. When he wakes up, it will be like nothing ever happened. A two-week nap."

"I'm glad. Every one of us in Engineering owes him our lives. If he hadn't gone in and activated that manual release when he did, Javik and James would have been pulling remains out of Engineering rather than engineers." She shuddered at the thought. "I could certainly use a long nap, but not under those circumstances." Even with all she'd been through the last couple years, it had been one of the most terrifying experiences of her life.

* * *

"Tali! Get down to Engineering, Adams is going to need you." The words were barely out of Garrus' mouth before she was off and running for the engine room. Not wanting to waste even a second waiting for the elevator, she sprinted through the conference room and slid down the maintenance hatch. _I don't care what the filthy bosh'tets throw at us, I will NOT let them stop this ship. I will NOT let them get to Shepard before we do. Before_ I _do._ She hit the deck running and sprinted into the main engineering bay.

"Tali, glad you're here!" Adams was clearly stressed, but not letting it get the best of him. Tali always admired how he stayed cool and efficient for his engineers, and led them by example. It was a trait she had done her very best to take with her when she had returned to the Migrant Fleet after the original Normandy had been lost. "Help Gabby regulate the coolant flow rates - the ship is getting pushed hard and for whatever reason the temps are off the charts. Donnelly, Cervelli - I want hands on those electrical subsystem routers! Be ready to bypass any damage to keep the juice flowing. Kang and Harrison are in the core room ready to switch whatever you need." He looked up from his panel to smile at Tali. "Never a dull moment on the Normandy, is there?" He turned back to yell to the other engineers, "Hitting the relay in 5 seconds. Get ready, gang. It might be a bumpy ride!"

Tali had just taken her station beside Gabby when she felt the ship enter the relay, and she immediately knew that something was wrong. Very wrong.

Tali had grown up, had in fact spent the vast majority of her life, on various ships. After a while, she, like many quarians, was able to "feel" what the ship was doing without looking at any instruments or readouts. The subtle _thump_ of a ship hitting a relay and entering that nearly mass-free corridor of space was as familiar to her as the thump of her own heartbeat, but this was a different kind of _thump_ altogether. It had just barely registered in her mind that something was amiss when every alarm and klaxon on the ship started shrieking.

The board in front of her lit up like the galaxy map upstairs, and her fingers flew deftly across the controls, trying her best to keep the ship's engines from going into terminal overload. But, it wasn't working.

"Coolant temperatures past critical!" yelled Gabby. "Initiating emergency vent…the release isn't working! The servos must have melted down from the heat! I won't be able to..."

At that moment a wave of red enveloped Tali and the entire Engineering deck. Steam vents opened along the ceiling, filling the entire deck with a haze and fogging her mask. Just like that, the red wave had passed and was gone, but the pandemonium in Engineering continued unabated. A series of small, deep noises - _wump, wump, wump -_ vibrated through the deck plating and up through her feet. _The emergency bulkheads! The coolant must have finally cooked off and sent the engines into emergency lockdown. If there is no coolant flowing to the core, we're going to be baked alive in here!_ She scrambled around the corner and headed for the short gangway leading to the core. _I have to pull the manual release, and I have to do it now._

Before she made it three steps, the entire ship gave a mighty lurch to starboard, and she felt the world fall out from beneath her feet as the catwalk buckled and fell away. She grabbed onto one of the exposed conduits and spun herself around nearly 360 degrees, regaining her footing right where she had started.

"I can't get to the manual release!" she yelled. "The catwalk is gone!" She hoped that Adams, that anyone, could hear her over the shriek of the klaxons and the roar of the overheating engines. "We have to jettison the core or we'll all.."

"NO!" Cervelli yelled back. "I've got it!" He turned towards Adams as he ran past him and towards the gap where the catwalk once was. "Get everyone out, sir! I've got it!" Before Adams could respond, Cervelli had leapt across the gap in the catwalk and was reaching for the release.

"Cervelli!" Adams shouted. Hearing him yell actually made Tali stop short - even in a situation like this, hearing Adams raise his voice was a jaw-dropper. "You can't do that! The power conduits are sheared and everything is arcing! If you try to grab it..."

Cervelli turned to look back at his boss, and Adams went silent. He knew what would happen if Cervelli went for the release...and from the look on his face, Cervelli knew it too. He looked Adams in the eye, and said one word.

"Go."

He grabbed the release and pulled, and was immediately thrown back as though he'd been punched by a Krogan. He hit the wall so hard that Tali could hear it over the din, and he landed face down, with wisps of smoke rising from his body. _Keelah._ There was no time to think about it, though. They had to get out.

Adams had already made it to the door, but it wasn't opening. "Emergency bulkheads already engaged! The mechanism is shot and we can't open them from this side. We'll have to..."

The ship lurched again, and Tali was thrown hard against the console and slumped to the floor. The fire from the core room was getting closer. Cervelli's sacrifice had gotten coolant to the engines, but the burning conduits and wires were causing the entire engineering deck to fill with acrid smoke. The other engineers had managed to get their emergency masks on. Tali didn't need one because of her atmosphere suit, but even its internal filters wouldn't do any good once the deck was filled completely. She was starting to feel a little lightheaded when she looked up at the console.

 _It was right here. I was standing right here when he told me that he felt the same way about me as I felt about him. The greatest joy in my life began right here, and now I'm going to suffocate right on this very spot._

The smoke got thicker, and it was nearly impossible to see now. She could hear someone yelling her name. "Tali! Tali, you have to.."

* * *

"Tali," Garrus asked from across the table, "are you awake, or did you just turn off your audio sensors so you could ignore me?"

Tali snapped back to reality with a start. "Keelah, I'm sorry, Garrus. I'm just...I'm just exhausted. I must have dozed off for a second," she said, sounding a little contrite.

"Don't be sorry," Garrus chuckled. "You've been working so hard that I guess even my fascinating conversation isn't enough to keep you conscious." He gave her the turian equivalent of an innocent grin.

"Ha, I figured your fascinating conversation was what Dr. Chakwas used to induce Cervelli's medical coma." They rose from the table, and Garrus dumped their ration wrappers in the bin marked "dextro." Tali looked at the bin, then at Garrus. "How long?"

"Ten days," he replied. "Fifteen, if you're willing to put a new hole or two in your suit belts."

"No problem," Tali said. "We'll be out of here long before then. We have to be. Shepard needs us."

Garrus had really hoped she wouldn't go there. Shepard was his best friend. Spirits, it was more than even that. DNA be damned, Shepard was his _brother._ But, unlike Tali, Garrus had been on the bridge. He'd seen the boiling red hell coming out of the Citadel, and he'd known Shepard was right at the center. "Tali," he said gently, "I hope he made it, too - you know that. But we have to prepare for the possibility that maybe he didn't."

"No," Tali stated flatly. "He's alive. If he were dead I would know it. I would just know it."

"Spirits, Tali," Garrus was a little exasperated and didn't want to let it show, but he couldn't help it. "I know how you feel about him, but we're light years away, and you don't believe in mental mumbo-jumbo any more than I do. What makes you think you would just know?"

Tali got silent and looked at her feet, and her hands were wringing at her waist like they always did when she was nervous. She looked back up at Garrus, and even through the mask he could see that her eyes had widened and her face had softened.

"Because," she said quietly, "I knew last time."

Garrus let out a sigh and a short chuckle. Tali was like a sister to him, and the last thing he wanted to do was bring her down just because he was feeling overwhelmed. "Touché," he said. "Just get this tub in the air again before we run out of dextro rations, OK?"

The mischievous look had returned to Tali's silvery orbs. "I'm not worried at all," she said as she started walking towards the door. "I'm sure Javik has a recipe for braised leg of turian somewhere in that memory shard." She turned back to Garrus and in her best Javik impersonation she said, "Primitives!" and bounced off into the hall, leaving a speechless Garrus staring at an empty doorway.

* * *

Diana Allers stepped out of the elevator and was nearly bowled over by a hurrying quarian. "Primitives!...oh, excuse me, Ms. Allers." Tali Zorah zipped past her and into the elevator.

 _What on earth was that all about? She's been very quiet around the crew ever since we've been stranded here, but now she seems to be perking up a bit._ _Maybe that means things are going well. Even better, maybe it means she'd be up for an interview. I've got some great stuff from other members of Shepard's crew, but an interview with his girlfriend while we still don't know what happened? That's a Pulitzer right there. Yeah, right. Never gonna happen._

Diana was a sharp reporter, but she was also a pragmatist. The possibility of an interview with Tali was fantastic, but the possibility that not only would she refuse but talk the others into clamming up as well would be catastrophic. _I'm good at this, but just not THAT aggressive. Khalisah wouldn't be scared of that._

The thought of her friends back on Earth and on the Citadel made her chest tighten. She got a bottle of water and some raisins out of the small auxiliary fridge in the galley, and sat down at the table. _I wonder if they're even still alive. Khali was on the Citadel, and I know she made it through the Cerberus attack. Crazy freak stayed on the air through it! Emily was on Earth, but I don't know where. And here I am, with the sweet assignment on the Normandy - stuck God knows how many light years away from anything newsworthy. I should have taken the Westerlund job. Khali said she was sure they'd hire me, but no, I had to be the flashy war correspondent reporting from the front lines. Em took one look at my outfit and asked me if it was going to be 'Battlespace' or 'Battletits.'_

Diana chuckled at the memory. _Em's a fine one to talk, Little Miss Evening Gown with all the news that fit to print._ They were a strange and different breed, news reporters - Diana would be the first to admit that. Still, they were colleagues and friends, and her heart hurt just thinking what might have become of them.

 _Bah, what am I worried about? They can take care of themselves. They'd probably even contribute to the fighting. Banshees might be scary, but Khali when she's pissed could probably scream them into submission. And Em? Get a few drinks in her and put her on the dance floor, and the Reapers would laugh themselves to death. Hell, get her and Shepard dancing at the same time and the war would have been over in ten minutes._

The lighthearted thoughts brought Diana a bit of much-needed cheer. She looked down at her hands and smiled. _One way or another, we're all going to have one hell of a story to tell._ She began writing camera copy in her head, already molding her observations and experiences into a narrative for her viewers. She was a pro, after all, and good copy wasn't going to write itself. Out of the corner of her eye she caught Liara T'Soni walking briskly through the door into her office/quarters. _Now there's a tough nut to crack. I can't get much out of her, and I'll bet she's the only one on this ship who really knows what's going on. She tries to play that 'just an archaeologist' bit, but that's bullshit. She HAS to be working for the Shadow Broker, maybe even near the top of the organization. She'd never give up who he really is - hell, neither would I. I don't want to be dead - but she knows a lot more than she lets on. Maybe someday..._

Diana was streetwise enough to choose her targets wisely, and that one would be profoundly unwise, at least for now. She stuffed the last few raisins in her mouth, tossed the box in the recycler and headed back for her nest in the cargo hold.

 _Maybe someday..._

* * *

Liara entered the crew deck and headed straight for her quarters. She noticed Diana Allers sitting in the mess, and that was the last person she wanted to talk to. She told herself that it was strictly a professional avoidance, but she knew that wasn't entirely true. Diana wasn't just a reporter - she was a gorgeous human reporter. _How was it that I heard Vega describe her? 'Built like a brick shithouse?'_ The words didn't make much sense to Liara, but she got the drift. _One more bimbo on the Shepard train. Bitch._

She put her hand to her forehead and scolded herself. _You've got to get over this childish jealousy. It didn't happen on the trail to stop Saren, it didn't happen after Hagalaz, and it isn't ever going to happen. Get over it._ Liara had been so drawn to Shepard, nearly from the moment they met, but he saw her only as a friend. A very close and trusted friend to be sure, but no more than that. When Shepard had gotten involved with Ashley back then, Liara had understood. Most people were drawn only to members of their own species. That was perfectly normal (and also the root of so many of the rumors about the asari), so she swallowed her disappointment and moved on. But, when she later learned that Shepard had ended up with Tali - with _Tali_ \- she was angry and jealous all over again. What could he possibly have seen in a quarian, of all people, that she couldn't have offered him?

 _Damn it. I'm doing it again. What is wrong with me? Shepard is my friend, and so is Tali. If it wasn't for Shepard, Tali and Wrex, I'd be a dusty corpse in the ruins of Therum._

"Good afternoon, Dr. T'Soni. May I be of assistance?" The little blue ball that was her 'assistant,' Glyph, moved ahead and hovered in front of her. "I am still unable to receive any transmissions from your agents, but I have been monitoring for any other transmissions as well."

Liara started for her terminal, but then thought better of it. She was tired and cranky, and staring at monitors or pacing her cabin like a caged varren wouldn't help. "No, thank you, Glyph. I'm going to rest for a while." She threw her jacket over the back of the chair and headed for the large bed at the back of the room. _I wonder why Miranda had a king-size bed installed in this cabin. Maybe she figured there'd be more than one way to 'persuade' Shepard?_ She fell backwards onto the bed and put her arm across her eyes. _Dammit, I'm doing it again. Miranda turned out to be a true friend to Shepard. Probably a better friend than me, since all I do is think of reasons to be jealous. And at least I'm alive. I have no idea what happened to Miranda or any of the others that weren't with the ship._ She shifted to get her head on the pillow and then let out a long breath. _How did it all end up in such a mess like this…_

* * *

Liara," Garrus had said firmly, and looked her in the eye. "Go. Now."

Liara's blood had run cold. _Those had been Shepard's exact words. S_ he thought she might faint, but she pulled herself together. _I can't let the crew down, not last time and not this time._ "Yes," she stammered, "yes, right away" and she ran off for the Crew Deck.

Liara's heart was beating so quickly she thought it might burst. _I can't go through this all again._ The sense of deja vu was so strong that she caught herself running in the direction of the blocked-off doorway near the galaxy map, as though she were headed for the stairs on the old Normandy.

 _Stop, Liara. Calm down and concentrate. Panicking will only get people killed._ She gathered herself together and headed for the elevator, pushing the button for the crew deck. _Gather a couple of crewmen and have them start checking the escape pods, then help Dr. Chakwas prep her patients to be moved. You can do this._

She stepped off the elevator and into a beehive of activity. Two crewmen were just running out of the crew quarters, so she stopped them before they got past her. _At least it's two whose names I know. Small blessings._ "Mercer, Jaso - I need your help. Get a team together and start prepping the escape pods in case we need them. Garrus' orders - he's in charge until we can get to Commander Shepard." The two crewman looked at each other, then back at her. "Yes, ma'am," they said in unison and took off at a run.

 _OK, that's done. Now to Dr. Chakwas and get started on..._ That was as far as the thought went before a wave of red swept over the entire crew deck and alarm klaxons started blaring. The ship lurched, and she was tossed sideways against the wall, nearly losing her footing. She regained her balance and took off for medbay at a run. When she entered , Dr. Chakwas was already scrambling to fill a medical bag with medi-gel.

"Doctor, Garrus ordered that we be ready to evacuate if necessary. Do you need assistance with any patients?" Liara noticed that the door to the AI Core room was open, and although the medbay lights were on and everything appeared to be operational, the lights were out in the AI Core. _Must have been a power outage. I hope EDI is able to keep the ship functioning._

"I don't have any patients at the moment, but it appears that is likely to change. What was that red flash? Are we under attack?" Dr. Chakwas was clearly worried, but unlike Liara she didn't seem to be fighting off an imminent panic attack.

"I don't know," replied Liara, "but Garrus wants us to be ready for anything. The escape pods are being prepped in case we need them. What can I do to help?" _Give me a task, give me something to focus on, before I go completely mad. Please._

"Here, take these med-kits and start stocking the pods with them. If you have enough, leave a few around the workstations as well in case we have people needing to do emergency triage. If you have to order an evacuation tell the crewmen to grab them and bring them along." Liara nodded and started to head for the door, but Dr. Chakwas grabbed her hand and looked at her levelly. "Dr. T'Soni - Liara - calm down," she said gently. "We will be OK. This is not a repeat of last time."

 _Goddess, how did she know? Is it that obvious that I'm falling apart?_ She took her satchel of med-kits and headed for the pods, but her mind was headed back to Earth, back to those last few moments. Back to Shepard.

 _Stop beating yourself up about that. You could have done it, but you didn't. You CHOSE not to do it, and it was the right choice. Shepard never knew how close he was to 'fathering' a little blue warrior. And he must never know. It was a peaceful moment between friends, and that's all. You made the right choice._

Liara stopped and rubbed the back of her hand across her forehead. She hadn't even noticed the noise and commotion for a few moments while she was lost in her own thoughts, her memories, her...regrets? _No, not regrets. You made the right choice._

She took a deep breath and continued down the gangway, her arms full of medkits and her heart full of sorrow.

* * *

Through the medbay window, Dr. Chakwas saw Liara stop and sort of stare off into the distance for a moment before proceeding on her way. _I do worry about her. It's bad enough that she wears her feelings for Shepard right there on her sleeve, but when you add in all that senseless self-doubt, she's a ticking time bomb. Brave and brilliant, but she lets the ghost of her mother haunt her every move. Poor girl._

Karin shook her head and chuckled, more at herself than at Liara. _Girl? Ha, she's a few decades older than me, and I haven't been a 'girl' since before we escaped our own solar system. And here I am now, a woman and an older one at that, still hoping we can escape our solar system once again._

She set down the datapad on which she was making notes and moved over to the desk, reaching into the drawer to retrieve a bottle as she sat down. It wasn't Serrice Ice Brandy, but it was good enough. _The asari might have brains and beauty and a thousand-year life span, but there are some things they just don't have. Like, for instance, Jim Beam. Nothing to do now but wait to see what happens, so I'd might as well take a minute. Maybe a minute is all we have left._ She poured two fingers in a coffee cup and looked down into the amber liquid, smiling to herself. _I never really liked this stuff when I was younger. I was always a 'brandy and cognac' kind of girl, at least until..._

* * *

This was it. The fleet was assembled, and the target was Earth. Karin had spent her entire adult life aboard warships, and she always knew in the back of her mind that she would likely die aboard one as well. That knowledge, in these moments before the final battle with the Reapers, filled her not with fear, but with peace. She was where she was supposed to be, in a place she loved with all her heart and surrounded by people of a half-dozen species who she'd come to love as well. If this was the day, then it would be the day, and Karin Chakwas would be at her post, taking care of her very extended family.

The medbay door slid open, and she was surprised to see the imposing figure of Admiral Hackett entering her realm. She had heard the speech he'd just given over the intercom, but the last thing she expected was for him to show up below decks like this. He turned and said something to his guards, who took up post right outside the door. "Dr. Chakwas, may I have a moment of your time, please? There's something we need to discuss."

 _Oh shit, what did I do now?_ "Of course, Admiral." They were alone in the medbay, so she pressed the button to close the privacy windows. "What can I do for you?"

"I need to ask you about Commander Shepard."

 _Thank God, I'm not going to start off what may be my last moments being chewed out by an Admiral._ "Certainly, Admiral. What do you need to know?"

Hackett relaxed his posture, and walked over to lean against one of the exam tables. His brows knit together and he frowned, the looked up to face her. "Doctor, we still don't know exactly what Cerberus did to bring the commander back, but we know that it involved Reaper tech. We're about to use a weapon that is going to - well, we don't really know _what_ the hell it's going to do, but it will hopefully involve killing Reapers. The way you kill a machine is to turn off the technology. With Reaper tech inside him, what happens to Shepard if it all 'turns off'?"

Karin took a deep breath. "I've considered this quite a bit, you know. I've done numerous scans on Shepard, and as near as I can tell, while Reaper tech was certainly used in the process, very little of it was actually used inside Shepard himself. That being said, there is certainly some cause for concern. Some of the implants used to rejoin nerves and muscles are no doubt of Reaper origin, but his own body has grown around those devices to compensate. What were once prostheses could now be more accurately described as augmentations. Rather than doing the work, they are now helping his own body do the work more efficiently. That's the primary reason he has such incredible strength and endurance, not to mention his increased healing capacity."

Hackett seemed relieved. "So if the tech shuts down, he'll be OK, then?"

"I didn't say that," Karin replied. "His body is strong enough to continue without them, but I can't predict what the effects would be if they were to shut down, perhaps suddenly and violently."

Hackett slammed his palm down on the exam table. "Dammit, Doctor! That's what I'm asking you! That's what I need to know!"

Karin felt her own temper slipping as her voice began to rise to meet Hackett's. "And I've told you, Admiral, I _don't_ know! Ask Miranda Lawson, she did the work in the first place. For that matter, she's offered to help the Alliance any way she can, so why are you asking me instead of just asking her to begin with?" _And now I might get through the Reaper battle and end up being court martialed. Brilliant, Karin._

Hackett stopped, and the frown on his face gave way to a look that was almost contrite. "I apologize, Doctor. The stress is wearing on me and I took it out on you. I'm sorry." He took off his cap and ran his fingers through graying hair. "I know I could have asked Miss Lawson. She's actually been on the Crucible team the last couple of weeks. But still, she was Cerberus. You've been with Shepard from the beginning...and I needed to ask someone I know I can trust."

Karin let out a long breath and composed herself before speaking. "I'm sorry as well, Admiral. I hope you'll forgive my outburst. The stress is wearing on us all, and when I think about what might happen to Shepard - well, I think perhaps I'm still scarred a bit from the last time."

Hackett chuckled, a low and mirthless sound. "We certainly all bear our scars, Doctor."

Karin stopped, then looked directly at him. "The scar on your face - do you remember getting it?"

Hackett chuckled again, a much more cheerful sound this time. "How could I forget. The Liberation of Shanxi. I was leading a group of landing parties when the turian antiaircraft batteries opened up on us. I think they dropped six or seven of us in the first thirty seconds. I remember as the landing craft was spiraling towards the ground, thinking, 'Well, this is it.' Somehow, some of us survived, and ended up right in a hot zone. From shuttle crash to infantry combat in the blink of an eye. We were holding our own, waiting for reinforcements, but the turians were throwing wave after wave of troops at us. I remember a grenade going off nearby, and then blood in my eyes. Next thing I knew, I was in the medbay on the _Cincinnati,_ and a doctor was looking down at me and telling me that I'd be alright, but that my face would be scarred."

Karin smiled nostalgically. "And you looked back up at me and said, 'What does it matter? Someone as beautiful as you would never give me a second look anyway.' God, Steven, where have the years gone?" She stepped forward towards him, placing her palms on his shoulders and her forehead on his chest. "Where have they gone, and how did they go so quickly?"

She felt his hands on her shoulders, then on her back. "I don't know, Karin. But they have certainly gone. Seems like a lifetime ago. Considering what we're heading into, it might end up being exactly that - a lifetime ago." He leaned his head forward until his face touched her hair. She still used that same shampoo, with the coconut scent that always made his head spin. _How I've missed that, too._ "Do you ever wonder if maybe it should have gone differently for us?"

She responded without looking up. "Of course, but we made the right choice. I belonged on a warship, and so did you."

"I know," he said. "The last time I talked to Anderson, he said something that really stuck with me. He said that after all this time, now that he was back on Earth, he realized that maybe he didn't want to leave. Now that we're headed back there, I understand his feelings. I've always belonged on a warship, but if I survive this one, maybe it's time to hang up my hat and let younger men take that chair on the bridge." He put a finger under her chin, and raised her face to look into his. "Have you ever thought the same thing?"

"No," she replied flatly. Then her face softened, and she raised her hand to his face, placing her palm over the scar that had defined his visage for so long. She smiled. "Not until now, at least."

"Then I have one more reason to live to see tomorrow. Take care of yourself, Doctor. That's an order."

* * *

A deep shudder that ran through the length of the ship brought Karin back to reality. _Daydreaming in a crisis. Get it together._ The shudder turned into a lurch, and a deep groaning noise seemed to vibrate the entire ship. Suddenly, the intercom came to life, and she heard Joker's voice yelling, "Emergency landing! I repeat, emergency landing! All hands, brace for impact!"

Karin grabbed hold of the desk with both hands, holding on for dear life as the ship bucked beneath her. There was another deep groan from the belly of the ship, then a massive thump as she felt the ship make impact. The whole world seemed to be in slow motion - she could see each bottle and paper clearly as they flew from the desk and shelves, and they seemed to be almost frozen in midair for a second. Suddenly, everything dropped, she felt momentum slam her into the side of the desk, and then all was still.

She picked herself up from the floor and surveyed the damage. _Well, whatever happened, it seems to be over and I'm still alive._ The intercom came to life again, and this time it was Garrus' voice. "Dr. Chakwas, prepare for incoming. We've got injured on all decks, and people trapped in Engineering."

Karin reached over and hit the button. "Understood. Garrus, what just happened?"

"We took a blast of energy when the Crucible fired. It hit the relay at almost the same instant we did, and tore things up pretty badly. We made it through the relay, but the Normandy couldn't stay in the air, so Joker had to make an emergency landing on this planet."

"And what planet is this?" she asked. "Where exactly are we?"

The intercom was silent for a second or two, then Garrus' voice came through again, quieter this time.

"Honestly, Doctor...We have no idea."

* * *

 _Two weeks later, and we still have no idea. Or at least, not much of one._ Karin stood by the exam table where Cervelli lay, checking his vitals and the progress of his skin regen. _Excellent. He's healing faster than I'd hoped. Another day or two and I can bring him out of it._

 _Well, maybe he's better off. The last couple weeks haven't been anything but stress and worry. At least someone on this ship is relaxed. Garrus is holding it together pretty well, but the rest…I don't know. Liara is more of a basket case than usual, Tali is under huge pressure to help get the ship up and running but distracted by worrying about Shepard, and Jeff…ever since EDI went offline, he's been quiet and sullen, even withdrawn. And to top it all off, none of us know what actually happened back on Earth. Did we win? Was there some kind of stalemate? Are the Reapers going to be pouring out of the skies to attack us any minute now?_

Years of medical practice had taught Karin one very valuable lesson: sometimes, all you can do is wait and see.


End file.
